once upon a time,not so long ago



On Fridays I sit to write a blog. My youngest cat, let’s call her Gemma (because that’s her name), always tries to help. Gem has many opinions of what I should write and does her best to express this telepathically by boop-ing her head against mine or smooching over my chin, while walking across the keyboard.

While impressed with my cat’s determination to share, am less inclined to transpose her wisdom onto the page. Strangely, instead of being enamoured of my cat’s affection and paw writing across the keys, I can become slightly irritated. Gem believes the correct response is an increase in smooching.

Re-doubling her efforts, Gem insists on my attention. Gem has been practising these techniques for twelve years and has perfected the smooch perch. This is where she sits as close to me as possible, preferable partially over my arm, and when I give her a smile acknowledging her cuteness, she reaches over and licks me on the nose. Gem then walks across my arms, smooching over my chin and glasses as she goes, adding her comments via her paws. My glasses generally end up diagonally across my face.

I am strangely resistant to these efforts. (I have had a lot experience resisting them.) If possible, Gem sits between me and keyboard, lovingly smooching and purring all the while. Perchance this does not bring about the required attention to the detail she wishes to impart, Gem will repeat steps one and two, then stop in the middle of my arms and lick my nose again. Gem discovered that if she stands in the centre of the keyboard, I can no longer use the keys.

Occasionally, Gem decides that drastic measures must be taken. If I am intent on tapping on the keyboard and manage to withstand all previous efforts, Gem simply sits on the keyboard, in front of the screen and looks at me with intense love. I might huff in annoyance but Gemma makes her eyes as big as possible, then opens her mouth to impart a tiny kitten mew, purr loudly and reach again to smooch. This usually does the trick. If none of this works Gem has one sure-fire way to win.

Lick up my nostril. That never fails.

(c) CLHHarper 8 May 2014

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